Hello and welcome 

I'm Marissa Walter; counsellor, author, mother of three and I have been where you are now: 

The marriage you thought would last forever, has ended. It’s been a painful, confusing, chaotic time. Even though you know it’s over, it’s hard to accept that it feels so....final.

You're stuck; trying to imagine a happy future seems impossible.

You still have days where you miss your partner and your old life.

You are dealing with emotions of anger and sadness which you hoped would be over by now. Maybe there was betrayal involved which has left you resentful and unforgiving.

All you can see are the challenges of divorce conflict or single parenthood and each day you feel drained of energy.

It might feel like there is no possibility of a happy future; you’ve had your chance at love and it failed. Maybe you feel too old to start over.

You're tired of feeling like this.....but there’s another part of you that still has a spark of hope that things can get better. Hope that you could feel real happiness; that you will laugh hard and love again.

Time can be a healer but it can also be slow, and you’re aware that this time next year, you don’t want to still feel the way you’re feeling now.

After my marriage ended devastatingly in 2010 I genuinely felt like I could never be happy again. The first step to healing was to allow my grief to be felt. However, I soon became aware that simply feeling pain and waiting for it to pass wasn't enough. I immersed myself in reading about personal growth and started to write a blog about my experience of healing from heartbreak. 

I realised that moving on more fully and more quickly required change.

I had a choice; I could let the end of my marriage make me bitter, mistrustful and fearful of the future or  I could take back control of my life. I chose to get my spark back and shine. I was not destined for misery because my relationship was over, no matter how deeply I had loved. I owed myself something bigger from life and only I could make that happen.

The truth is that you can too. Change is completely possible but it starts with YOU and how you view your break-up. When you allow yourself to see the opportunity in the loss, your whole world changes.

I am now more content with life than I've ever been. I have a new career where I am passionate about helping people see their lives change for the better after their broken relationships.

I feel happy and more confident with who I am as a person and a mother. I am in a happy relationship which is emotionally safe, healthy and full of love.

Break Up and Shine is about more than moving on - it’s about changing your perspective on life and rethinking how you see your divorce, so that it transforms you in a positive way instead of breaking you.

 

Your relationship is over, but your life is not.


 

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Thank you for this. Your pain has made other people’s path much easier to see and understand

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Marissa, Wow, you just nailed my feelings exactly. I had to take a deep breath because it felt like I was saying those words.

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Marissa was empathic and perceptive. The way in which she reflected back to me and also contributed her own insights and perception was very helpful. Her counselling was very effective and helped me through a very difficult period.

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6 thoughts on “About Marissa

  • February 7, 2013 at 6:57 pm
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    Thanks so much for your blog and articles. The one about trust really speaks to me. I was divorced 3 1/2 years ago after my ex-wife’s infidelity and thought I would never trust or live again. I met a beautiful (inside and out) woman whom I had such a great and fun time with and we dated for 18 months. I believed her to be the one but ultimately I lost trust in myself and did not trust her to accept my needs, or myself to express them. I have been deeply hurt these last two months wondering why but I am putting myself out there, trusting myself, taking chances and trying to find that happiness within myself that I need to move forward. It hurts that she wants nothing to do with me, but I know that is for both of our owns good. I am confident that I will one day be able to open my heart to let love in again and be able to trust my heart to be vulnerable to someone. Your blog is encouraging and gives me hope.

  • February 7, 2013 at 7:35 pm
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    Thank you Chris, and I’m so glad my post resonated with you. Your continued trust and confidence despite your recent hurt is very moving and inspiring. Good for you, and I wish you all the best with your continued healing and search for love.

    Marissa x

  • October 7, 2013 at 7:22 pm
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    You truly are an inspiration and I to have survived what I thought impossible but the gifts I walked away with taught me that one must never doubt the wonderful and amazing joy that lies ahead of what seems the darkest days, keep writing and I look forward to your new book!

  • October 1, 2016 at 2:25 pm
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    I loved your article on trust in Tiny Buddha. I was interested in your book which was going to be released in 2013. I wanted to read whatever you wrote on. What is the name of the book?

    • January 30, 2017 at 1:05 pm
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      Hi Ana, thank you for your comment. Break Up and Shine took a little break while I focused on training to become a counsellor. I am still writing it and due to publish this year 🙂

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