Divorce brings a huge range of emotions and stresses to deal with; how are you helping yourself handle them?
You might think that the biggest challenge to moving on is missing (or resenting) your ex, conflict around the break-up or coping with difficult circumstances. But, actually, those are the surface problems. Amongst the hardest challenges you will face are:
Believing in yourself enough to know that you will get through this and be happy again.
Waking yourself up to see that you are amazing and deserve to have that happiness.
Allowing yourself to fully focus on you and your needs, instead of all the other stuff you can’t control.
When I work with clients following a break-up, one of the most emotional and difficult parts of the work is not when they talk about their grief emotions. It’s when I ask them to talk about how much they love themselves.
When you decide to become what you need, you realise that YOU are preventing yourself from moving on by not recognising your self-worth. It’s time to give yourself a talking to. Because when you begin to love who you are on a deeper level, you will notice how things change:
- You begin to recognise that you are responsible for your healing and you stop letting yourself be a victim of circumstances or your ex-partner’s behaviour.
- You stop indulging thoughts of “I can’t do this”, “I don’t know how to do this”. Instead, you’ll remind yourself there is always way through and that you are as strong as anyone who has gone through this before you.
- You will stop reaching for something to numb you or distract you from what you’re experiencing, you’ll pause and stand up for yourself. Because you know that each time you commit to processing some hurt or anger, that’s another layer dealt with and released for good.
Of course, you will have tough days and there are always divorce related frustrations. Focusing on your needs doesn’t magically make those disappear. But real self-love is showing up for yourself every day even when it’s hard.
You don’t have to be positive all day every day; in fact, that’s not even possible. But each day you make a commitment and a shift towards your growth and away from your stuckness. Even when your life feels like one big challenge. Even when you feel lonely or unloved.
Do this and your future self will thank you eternally for this act of self-kindness! ?
With love and support,
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