dear mummy

I thought you ought to hear that!

When I received a text message yesterday, telling me what a great job I was doing for my children, it brought tears to my eyes. So this is for those who have been left holding the baby, to congratulate you and remind you of the great job you are also doing.

In the early days of my break up, I was told so many times by my beautiful friends how well I was coping and what a fantastic job I was doing with my children. Mostly I tended to be modest and shrug it off. Sound familiar?

In future, don’t! Say thank you, then believe it. Look at what you are doing alone. Raising children is hard with a partner, doing it by yourself with all your emotional pain to deal with is very,very tough. Yet you are doing it.

When my husband left my sons were 6 and 4, our baby was 3 months old. The nights were hard. I could feel the anger rising and inwardly screamed “WHY AM I DOING THIS ALONE?”. Over the past three years I’ve had to deal with the everyday parenting trials, as well the harder job of working to make them feel safe and secure with the changes.

It’s an overwhelming responsibility to be the guardian of your children’s vulnerable emotional environment. I am so proud of them, and I am constantly reminded of how capable I am when I see that they are content.

Think of what you have achieved. Don’t think of what you haven’t done. Don’t beat yourself up for the times you are frazzled and shout more than you intended to. Or feel guilty for the times they have seen you cry. Think of the nights when you have put them to bed, fed, loved and secure and think to yourself “I did that!”.  

And if no one ever tells you what a good job you are doing, then that’s my job for today.

you are a wonderful single parent!
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