Hello and welcome
I'm Marissa Walter and I have been where you are now:
The marriage you thought would last forever, has ended. It’s been a painful, confusing, chaotic time. Even though you know it’s over, it’s hard to accept that it feels so....final.
Trying to imagine a happy future seems impossible.
You still have days where you miss your partner and your old life.
You are dealing with emotions of anger and sadness which you hoped would be over by now. Maybe there was betrayal involved which has left you resentful and unforgiving.
All you can see are the challenges of divorce conflict or single parenthood and each day you feel drained of energy.
It might feel like there is no possibility of a happy future; you’ve had your chance at love and it failed. Maybe you feel too old to start over.
You're tired of feeling like this.....but there’s another part of you that still has a spark of hope that things can get better. Hope that you could feel real happiness; that you will laugh hard and love again.
Time can be a healer but it can also be slow, and you’re aware that this time next year, you don’t want to still feel the way you’re feeling now.
After my marriage ended devastatingly in 2010 I genuinely felt like I could never be happy again. I immersed myself in reading about personal growth and started to write a blog about my experience of healing from heartbreak. The first step to healing was to allow my grief to be felt. However, I soon became aware that simply feeling pain and waiting for it to pass wasn't enough.
I realised that moving on more fully and more quickly required change.
I had a choice; I could let the end of my marriage make me bitter, mistrustful and fearful of the future or I could take back control of my life. I chose to get my spark back and shine. I was not destined for misery because my relationship was over, however deeply I had loved. I owed myself something bigger from life and only I could make that happen.
The truth is that you can too. Change is completely possible but it starts with YOU and how you view your break-up. When you allow yourself to see the opportunity in the loss, your whole world changes.
I am now more content with life than I've ever been. I have a new career as a writer and counsellor where I am passionate about helping people see their lives change for the better after their broken relationships.
I feel happy and more confident with who I am as a person and a mother. I am in a relationship which is emotionally safe, healthy and full of love.
Break Up and Shine is about more than moving on - it’s about changing your perspective on life and rethinking how you see your divorce, so that it transforms you in a positive way instead of breaking you.
Your relationship is over, but your life is not.